People make decisions about becoming involved, romantically or otherwise, with other people based upon a number of criteria with which they evaluate the qualities of the other person. In most cases, however the person does not consciously think out this process, but simply follow their shallow desires to pick a person, such as appearance, or material wealth. Consequently, those relationships based on not too deep decisions; do not continue for a long time. There is an old, Persian saying that finding a mate for living is always like cutting an unopened watermelon. There is no chance to predict weather the inside is red or white. Likewise is the relationship. In some situations an individual may consciously think about the criteria, or qualities, they are looking for in that individual and then evaluate if the person meets the criteria. Yet, do those criteria remains forever? Bases on my experience, and observations from other people’s relationship, having the ability of understanding each other, Coming from the same back ground, and Maturity is the three most important criteria for a long lasting relationship.
Different people see the world from different perspectives. In a relationship, no matter if it is between the loved ones, or just friends there will always be misunderstandings between them and their reactions will differ. Some choose to mope, groan, and even get angry about the way that they or others are treated while some decide to try to do something about it. Still, there are others who think to themselves that maybe the best way to deal with the issues among people is to try and comprehend what they mean and just live by them. Therefore, the best way to deal with a mate’s or a friend’s behavior is to put one’s in their shoes. It is also true on the opposite side; lack of communication or not knowing how to communicate is a common reason why relationships fail. People tend to solve their problems on their own. Moreover, it comes so natural that they forget to inform the people in their life. The best way to solve a problem is to discuss about it, and never leave friends and loved ones out of the loop.
Another important fact of how to choose a mate, or requirement is finding about their backgrounds; or at least try to find out the way or in what kind of family he or she grew up. Accordingly, there are some questions people have to ask themselves while they review their criteria. For example, is the mate had risen in a religious family? Can both of them respect each other’s beliefs? In what kind of society or environment they grew up. Are they coming from the same culture? Family plays a major role in a child’s life. When a child is ready to begin this search, he or she will keep in mind the values that were instilled by his or her family. The “family”, is the base in which other influences grow; i.e. religion. A person’s belief system can reflect what role partners partake in a relationship and what develops and stems from it. In most cases, a person fully devoted in his or her beliefs more likely search for a partner with similar interests. That normally tends to occur do the fact that the two will be able to continue a relationship at the same pace and not have to be concerned with desires outside of their own. Moreover, the environment and the society that a person grows up in plays an important role. For instance, my sister and I were grown up in a family that alcohol, smoking, and gambling had no place in our house. On the other hand, the guy that my sister was married to was raised on his father’s lap when his father used to drink in clubs and gamble. Even if my sister could tolerate her husband’s habits, they could never raise healthy children physically and mentally.
What happens when you mix two cultures together? Being in an inter-cultural relationship can be at times very difficult. In the United States, women are taught to speak their minds, float freely and to frankly not give two senses. But in other cultures, women, are still second rate to men. Therefore, how does a person comes across to compromise a stable relationship without crossing the boundaries? That is a problem many people are forced to deal with today. A person can be taken out of his or her homeland, but the traditions and foreign mind frames will always stay the same.
Last but not the least, is the level of maturity each mate has. The maturity means the sense of honesty, respect, trust, and mutual giving and receiving. Honesty about the major things in life plays a significant role in a relationship. It is always better to tell the truth than the truth is being declared by others. People should treat each other respectfully. Whether the couples or friends agree with each other in a certain instance or not, they should at all times be polite, courteous, and over all respectful. Sometimes, it comes so natural that people forget to inform others in their life. There are people who choose not to share their issues, and this can lead to lies and losing trust. Consequently, the people around will think that their friend is hiding things. Therefore, the person’s family and friends will stop sharing information as well, and this will cause a distance in the relationship. Mutual giving and receiving is a part of a relation; while one person is always giving more than receiving the level of expectations will arise from both sides. Hence, there should always be a balance in exchanging love, feelings, and even materials.
To be able to construct a long lasting relationship with a person of the same sex or opposite, individuals should consider some qualities other than the wealth, appearance, or even fame. Some of the qualities and criteria could be understanding the desires and needs of the mate, consideration of background, and culture, and being honest, respectful, trustworthy, and being fair in a manner of receiving and giving.
